


Endofus

by SamslostshoeistherealMVP



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse (Supernatural), Angst, Guilt, High Castiel (Supernatural), Sad Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28262520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamslostshoeistherealMVP/pseuds/SamslostshoeistherealMVP
Summary: Pre episode 5x04 and how Cas and Dean came to be in the situation our Dean found them in.
Kudos: 4





	Endofus

**Author's Note:**

> endverse has seriously gotten stuck in my brain lately so I rewatched the episode. It has always been one of my favorites, I think I’ve watched it ten times. Rewatching it, seeing how Cas stayed, how he chose Dean even in a timeline that never happened... idk. It’s such a bittersweet thing to see especially after the confession. Cas was in love with Dean even then.  
> So I wrote a little story to get it out of my head. This is before the events of the end, while Cas is losing his powers and Dean is fighting to save the world. It’s a story of how and why Cas picked Dean and the resulting crushing guilt Dean feels. It ain’t happy, we know they don’t end happy.

Bobby spit blood and shuttered on the floor, bullet shredded lungs struggling to pull in air. They’d gone back to Bobby’s house to grab a few more of the books they’d been forced to leave behind when they’d left for camp chinoquita. Bobby had insisted they’d be idjits if they let those books get into the wrong hands. He wasn’t wrong, they had enough problems to deal with and having the wrong person get ahold of the vast library of information and spells would be a disaster. As soon as they’d walked in they’d been ambushed, Dean and Cas had been able to duck to safety, but Bobby, stuck in his chair, had been hit over and over. Dean took care of the enemy with practiced efficiency. Killing humans didn’t make him flinch anymore, he knew they where just as monstrous as the monsters now a days. As soon as the last one hit the ground he sprinted to Bobby.

“Cas!” Dean screamed, “heal him!”

Cas face was a mask of misery as he placed his hands on Bobby gently. A faint blue glow came to his eyes, his hands shone dully and then it all flickered out. The bullet holes hadn’t even started to close. Cas stared at his hands in disbelief. It was gone, he was human. 

“I’m sorry, Dean.” He said quietly, “Bobby, I’m so sorry.” 

Bobby’s eyes locked with Cas’ and he saw forgiveness in them. The old man reached out and patted Cas’ hand gently, squeezing weakly before going limp. He was gone. 

“FUCK!!” Dean yelled, throwing anything he could get his hands on. His rampage went on for a long while, longer then it had ever gone before. He found himself in the kitchen, surrounded by shattered plates and broken glass. As the last tinkling quieted he heard a new noise. Quiet, almost imperceptible sobs. He walked slowly back to the library to find Cas, still on his knees next to Bobby’s corpse, entire body shaking with grief. 

Dean had never seen the angel cry. Not when they’d lost Ellen and Jo on a desperate and useless mission, not when they’d watched an innocent child ripped to pieces by Croats, not even when Sam had said yes to Lucifer. Cas never cried, angels didn’t cry. 

“Cas?” Dean said gently, scared by this new emotional reaction from the stoic angel he’d come to depend on like air. Cas looked up, tears marking twin trails through the dirt covering his face. Cas had stopped snapping himself clean weeks ago, Dean figured it was out of some misguided sense of solidarity, now he dreaded a more terrifying reason. 

“I’m useless.” Cas sobbed, “I can’t even heal you anymore. I couldn’t save him. I can’t save you.” 

“Cas,” Dean said kneeling next to him, “you’re not useless. You’ve had trouble healing for years, but you can still do so much. You’re not useless, you have saved me, over and over.”

“No.” Cas whispered staring at the floor, “I can’t do anything. I’m no angel, Dean. I’ve lost my powers.” 

Dean let that sink in. It made sense. The other angels had fucked off into nowhere, they didn’t give a damn. Lucifer had won and Michaels vessel had stayed stubborn until the bitter end. There was no reason to fight for a dirty little planet filled with nasty mud monkeys they had never wanted. Cas had been cut off from heaven since he’d first rebelled for Dean, it wasn’t surprising that when the angels had left they made sure their brother was left powerless. Dean depended on Cas’ powers a lot over the years, but he depended on Cas more. Powers be damned, Cas would never be useless. Dean was the one who had caused this, he’d never forgive himself. 

This could have been avoided a million different ways. A million different moments in time could have changed this reality if only Dean hadn’t been so damn stubborn. He’d caused this, all of this. The death, destruction, Sam saying yes, and Cas losing everything. It was his fault. If he’d just said yes to Michael, if he’d reached out to Sam, if he’d let Cas go. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. 

He could never have let Cas go, he’d been to selfish. Having the angel by his side had been all he had left in this world. A thousand times he’d had the words on his lips, “Cas, just go.” But he’d never been able to utter the words. Losing Cas would have broken him, made him become the soulless monster that always threatened to push through his mask of The Righteous Man. That mask is what convinced Cas to stay, this was all his fault. 

“Cas,” Dean started gently. “I’m sorry, I’m so damned sorry. This is my fault, you should have left, I should have made you leave.”

Cas looked up at Dean with disbelief in his eyes. That sparked an anger in Dean he couldn’t explain. 

“Why’d you even stay?!” He yelled angrily, “we lost! Fuck, we lost years ago, we lost before we even started. Why’d you save me? Why would you rebel for me? How the fuck was this... this hellhole existence... this horrible bullshit worth it to you?! Why’d you do it Cas? Why?!” 

“You will always be worth it Dean.” Cas said, sky blue eyes wide with confusion and wonder. How could Cas look so damned angelic when he wasn’t an angel anymore? 

“I’m not worth it Cas.” Dean growled, “if you haven’t figured that out yet, I don’t know what will convince you. You where an angel, an actual real life fucking angel of god and now what? For what?” 

“For you.” Cas answered easily, “It’s always been for you.” 

The silence between them stretched into eternity as Dean thought of how he’d failed the angel who’d believed in him, and Cas thought of how his only regret was that he wasn’t useful to Dean anymore. 

“I don’t regret my choices Dean.” Cas said finally, “I don’t regret choosing you. Of all the choices I’ve made in the past few years, that’s the only one I’m absolutely sure of. I could have left at any time, I could have begged for forgiveness to my brethren and been accepted back to the host with open arms. I couldn’t choose that, Dean, I couldn’t leave you if I tried.” 

Dean hadn’t believed in angels before he’d met Cas, he’d left that bullshit for Sam. Even after he’d met Cas he could quiet bring himself to believe an angel would save him, choose him. The misery Dean felt washed over him like a tidal wave. The moment Cas had touched him in hell he’d been lost. He’d lost everything because of Dean. 

For the first time since Sam had been taken dean felt himself sobbing. It wasn’t for the loss of Bobby, while that hurt like white hot iron pressed to his heart it was nothing compared to the pain he’d caused Cas. 

“We lost.” Dean heard himself choke out. “It’s all for nothing, you’ve lost everything, for nothing.”

“For you.” Cas answered again, “I believe in you Dean. Even if you lose, the fight is what I believe in. Peace is for cowards, giving up, giving in, letting destiny tell you what’s real... that’s not real Dean, we are. Our fight is. You taught me that, you taught me to fight for what I believe in instead of what I’m told. I’ve lived for eons, but I wasn’t alive until I met you.” 

“Damnit, Cas.” Dean shuddered. No matter how convinced Cas was Dean could never believe his fight was worth the loss Cas had endured. He stared into the infinite blue pools of Cas’ eyes and saw nothing but love reflected back. He’d never be worthy. 

They stayed on huddled on the ground with Bobby’s body until it had cooled. Stuck in the never ending cycle of self loathing, unguarded faith, and complete disbelief their relationship was founded on.  
———————————————————

Months passed and they continued to fight. Dean taught Cas to handle human weapons, and thanks to his warrior background he picked up on it quickly. Cas was, and would always be, a huge benefit when they talked tactics. He knew how the enemy thought and how they fought better then any human alive. He was Dean’s right hand in every meeting, every fight, and every negotiation. 

Dean noticed the change in Cas gradually. At first the shift to human seemed to have no affect on his personality, but slowly Dean realized Cas was struggling to keep himself in check and still be the stoic creature he’d always been. 

This realization hit him full force the first night he’d seen Cas wasted. They’d been staying at a motel in Ohio, one step ahead of the demons that hunted them, one step behind the demons they hunted. Dean had headed out that night in search of any kind of release he could find and had found himself in an alley with three men beating the shit out of him. He couldn’t quite remember what he’d asked them for, drugs, something he was sure, but he hadn’t gotten it. Instead he was being pummeled, he couldn’t even find it in himself to care anymore. At least now it’d be over. Suddenly the fist and boots attacking him stopped and he heard screaming. When he finally found it in himself to look up all he could see was blue eyes flashing fiercely, angrily down on him. 

“I should kill you myself!” The gravely voice intoned, “what where you thinking.”

“Loosen up,” he heard himself slur. “Trying to score here you cock blocking son of a bitch. How’d you even find me?” 

“I may not be an angel anymore,” Cas said quietly, “but I know when you need me.” 

That sentence had comforted Dean more then anything he’d heard in years. They’d stumbled back to the motel, Cas basically carrying Dean most the way. By the time they got back Dean was a half way sober again and pissed. 

“I was trying to get fucked up, Cas.” Dean whined as they pushed through the motel door. “Just one night. I deserve one night don’t I? One night to forget?” 

“Just ask next time.” Cas said reaching into his duffel bag and producing a pharmacy of pills and goodies. “How the everloving fuck do you think I’ve handled this? Good vibes? Grow up Dean. Upper or downer?” 

They’d chosen a mixed bag that night. Smoking some prime, snorting coke, and drinking absinthe to combine highs. Dean was out of his head before he thought to even ask. 

“How long have you been a stoner then?” 

“Indianapolis, about a month ago?” Cas said calmly, hitting another blunt. “It makes it easier to deal with...” he gestured vaguely to his surroundings. 

“Yeah, this shit ain’t no carnival.” 

“No.” Cas clarified. “The end of the world sucks, no doubt. But I’m talking about the emotions that come with being human. They’re overwhelming, all the time. I don’t know how you’ve dealt with this for your whole life without losing your mind. Hate, fear, lust, joy, sadness, love. The fact that you aren’t a complete junkie or drooling mass on the floor is proof in and of itself you’re special.” 

“Every human deals with it,” Dean clarified. “I’m not special for also dealing with it.”

“That’s not true.” Cas said laying back and staring at the ceiling. “The things you’ve dealt with, the pain and anger and anguish... it would kill others. But not you.” 

Dean stared at the strung out angel laying next to him in wonder. How had he missed the signs that Cas was intoxicated all this time? His hair was mussed, more then the usual bed head he usually sported, it looked Cas has been electrocuted. While Cas no longer sparked with angelic energy and power, his own spark was still bright enough to be blinding to Dean. Or maybe he was just high as fuck. The vision of the fallen angel, fucked up, succumbing to human vice, all because of him; it was too much for Dean. 

“I’m sorry, Cas.” He heard himself saying again. He’d said it so many times it had become prefunctionary, a reflex for any time he felt guilty for the angels fall. He felt guilty all the damned time. 

“Stop.” Came the deeply annoyed response, equally reflexive by this point.  
————————————————-

They continued the hunt for the colt and the day to day task of keeping the camp functioning. Luckily Chuck had wondered through, he was a whiz at the beaurocratic bullshit both Dean and Cas lacked patience for. They set up a system of command and no one questioned that Dean was at the top, and no one questioned Cas was second in command, even if he was more and more likely to be high as a kite. 

Dean watched Cas spiral in the coming year with despair. He wouldn’t dare chastise Cas, he only blamed himself for the angels fall. Cas started experimenting more and more wildly. Mixing concoctions that should kill an elephant, but would only put a serene smile on his still beatific face for an hour or so. Dean never stopped relying on Cas, no matter how fucked up he was he’d seemingly shake the drugs from his system the instant he knew dean needed him. 

“Cas?” Dean asked one night as they poured over another map, planning to capture yet another demon. 

“Yeah?” Cas answered. He’d changed since his fall over a year ago. The change was dramatic and yet; Dean couldn’t bring himself to see him any differently. Cas may be a hippy now, a stoner, and a bit of a slut if the quiet rumors be true, but he was still the terrifying warrior that had made Dean almost shit his pants all those years ago too. No matter how laid back the drugs made Cas, Dean could always see the warrior beneath the facade. 

“How do you not die?” Dean asked suddenly, “you should have overdosed a million times, dude. No one should be able to shoot heroine, smoke hash, drink a few fifths, snort coke and swallow a bottle of oxy in one afternoon. Plus you can do all that shit and yet be here with me every damned night strategizing. How?” 

Cas hummed, slightly nervous energy emitting from his body. He leaned over the map as if he where studying it, Dean knew he was trying to think of any comment he could make to distract Dean from this line of inquiry. Dean didn’t allow it, he grabbed Cas’ shoulder and forced him to stand up and look Dean in the eye. Cas puffed angrily and rolled his eyes. 

“Fine!” He spat, “cuz the only remanent of power I have is to be useful to you. I can’t fucking kill myself with drugs, I’ve tried. It takes huge amounts to affect me still. And yet, every damned time I finally get the edges soothed down, you need me and it fades away. Any power I have is dependent on your need for me. Apparently that means it can burn off my high constantly.” 

Dean looked at the blue eyes he’d needed, desperately and ridiculously needed for the last few years, burning with anger and resentment. Resentment for him. 

“Cas,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop.” Cas growled.  
————————————————-

The next year was even worse. They lost so many on commonplace raids they where in danger of becoming extinct. The virus, Croateoa, had finally made itself known to the general public by sweeping itself through the entire world. Croats where the new norm now, everyone knew to kill on sight, don’t hesitate a moment if someone showed signs, and never for a second think themselves safe. Dean had watched every zombie movie ever made; living through an apocalypse featuring them wasn’t half the fun those movies made it out to be. 

As always, Cas was still his right hand. Even if Dean had loosened the grip of that hand. He’d tried, he’d tried so hard to let Cas go after the revelation that his need of the fallen angel was causing Cas even more misery, but he’d failed. 

Within a week of trying not to rely on Cas he’d been accosted by the angry man alone in his cabin one night. Cas had stormed in, so reminiscent of the night they’d met Dean had almost choked, and demanded to know what the fuck Dean was doing. 

“I’m trying not to need you!” Dean had screamed back, equally angry. “God forbid I fuck up your precious high, or interrupt one of the damned orgies you’re so fond of!” 

“Fuck you, Dean.” Cas had hissed back quietly. “Those are distractions. That’s all they’ll ever be. Don’t you dare make me useless, don’t even fucking think of it.” 

They’d stood toe to toe, energy crackling between them like lighting, neither willing to back down, both feeling crushing guilt and self loathing for their need of the other. The spell was broken by Chuck stumbling in with a clipboard in hand and a list of items they needed on the next raid. 

“Toilet paper!” Chuck had almost yelled as he walked in, still looking at his list, “god knows what we’ll do if you don’t find toilet paper next raid. People are starting to wipe with leaves and we don’t even have the soap for them to wash their damned hands properly. This is a plague waiting to....” 

He stopped at the sight of the two men barley inches apart, staring each other down intently, and stumbled back a bit. 

“Sorry!” He squeaked, “I’ll just... I’ll come back? Or leave my notes... Ya I’ll leave my notes here. Umm, ya okay then.” 

After he left Dean shifted slightly away from Cas, further breaking the spell. 

“You don’t need to keep rescuing me.” He said sadly. 

“What else would I do?” Cas said sarcastically. 

“Enjoy yourself? I don’t know Cas, just... I don’t want your whole existence to revolve around my sorry ass.”

Cas leaned forward menacingly, he grabbed the front of Deans shirt and pulled him until they where even closer then before. 

“Too late.” Cas snapped. “It’s too damned late for that, Dean, years too late. So you either use me for everything I have, or kill me yourself. I won’t stand to be useless to you.” 

Dean could smell the whiskey and weed on Cas even now. He swore he could smell a faint trace of ozone too, the smell that would announce an angel was angry and about to kill whatever had made it so. Dean shuddered under the fallen angels glare and nodded. 

“I’m so...”

“Stop.”  
——————————————-

“You should come.” Cas said casually one afternoon. 

“To your weird orgy party?” Dean laughed. He did that so rarely now a days most would say he wasn’t capable. Only with Cas did he let his guard down enough to truly laugh, and only when they where alone. 

“It’s a spiritual experience.” Cas clarified with a wink. Cas didn’t believe a single word of the psycho babble he spouted to eager sex partners. Hell, Dean had heard some of it and he swore Cas made up more and more ridiculous shit for fun. 

“No thanks, man.” Dean replied. “I don’t need to see you getting your rocks off. Or getting other peoples rocks off.” 

“You do need to get your rocks off though, oh fearless leader.” Cas laughed, “why not with half the camp at once? I like to think it’s a bonding experience for us, makes us closer.”

“Makes us go through a lot of antibiotics that’s for sure.” Dean intoned. 

“Hey!” Cas said in a hurt tone, “I’ve never had to dip into that particular stash thank you. Meanwhile, how’d your burning sensation clear up? Is that why you aren’t joining?” 

Dean cupped his privates in memory of the clap he’d received from a new camp member a few weeks back. He hadn’t even had enough sense to realize what was wrong, instead it had taken Cas to figure it out. Apparently Cas’ angel powers where almost completely gone, except when it came to helping Dean. He’d recognized what was wrong in seconds and got Dean on a treatment plan before the sun had set, then he’d laughed his ass off at Deans stupidity. 

“No!” Dean snarled, “seriously dude I think it’d just be weird. I’ve walked in on more the one of those orgy parties of yours and everyone’s touching everyone. I don’t wanna look down and realize it’s some dude sucking me off.” 

“Hmm.” Cas deadpanned, “it’s the apocalypse Dean. You should really get the stick out of your ass. I have several options for other things we could put in there if you would feel too bereft without it.” 

Anyone else on earth would have been killed instantly for saying something like that to Dean. Pre and post apocalypse, Dean would have beaten them to a pulp. But not Cas, when Cas said that Dean had thrown his head back and laughed hysterically. Cas could still channel that innocent yet fierce angel he’d been, when he did it while saying such depraved things the irony was too much. 

“Fuck you, Cas!” He laughed. 

“I’m trying.” Cas said calmly before splitting into a grin himself. 

Cas had traipsed away shortly after to get the proper amount of high before his prenorgy lecture. Dean didn’t know why he bothered with it, except maybe because the listeners acted almost like worshippers and a small part of Cas still missed that. Most of the camp had participated in at least a few of Cas’ orgies and Dean couldn’t lie, it did seem to make them all feel closer. It bonded them on another level. It’s hard to leave a guy behind when you’ve taken him from behind, Cas had joked once. 

Dean still couldn’t make himself go to one of the orgies though. The thought of sweaty bodies mashing together didn’t bother him, but knowing one of those bodies was Cas did. Dean had almost no sentimentality left in him. It had been burned away by years of sacrifice and loss. The only thing, the only person, Dean felt anything about other then how useful they’d be for his survival, and completing the eventual goal of killing the devil, was Cas. He couldn’t risk fucking things up worse they they’d already been. He would never risk losing Cas.  
———————————

The storm Cas had thrown over his head a few weeks later made him glad he hadn’t given in. This raging, righteous being wasn’t worth losing for anything. 

“Not in these walls!” Cas had intoned in command. 

“Calm down Cas.” Dean said calmly, “they’re both adults. Damn Cas, they didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“She did nothing wrong!” Cas clarified, “he took advantage of her when she was in need. He goes Dean. I won’t have him here.” 

“Cas...” Dean tried to calm the raging storm in the form of a blue eyed man in his cabin. 

They where arguing over an incident that had happened last night. Cas had stumbled upon a man and woman mid blow job. Upon further investigation Cas figured out the man was a nurse at the clinic and the woman’s sister was horribly sick. The nurse had bribed the woman into blowing him by promising her sister the medicine she desperately needed. Cas was so ridiculously casual about sex it was laughable, but this was different. 

“No!” Cas shouted, “he leaves Dean. He broke a sacred oath to care for those in need. He took advantage of his position to hurt others, to force them. Not in these walls!” 

Sex had become a bargaining item in the post apocalyptic world. Many made their living on their backs now a days and Dean had nothing against it. Cas always did. He raved that no one should have to do that to receive basic necessities. To Cas, sex should always be given freely and joyfully, never for survival. To do so was blasphemous. He also never blamed those who chose that path; only those who took advantage of them. Dean couldn’t really disagree with Cas, he could only feel shame for the few times he’d participated before he’d met the angel. 

Deans only compunction on kicking the asshole out was he was the most medically qualified individual in the camp. Unless you counted Cas himself, who’d sewn Dean up from nothing and who’s knowledge of the human anatomy was astonishing, and his new knowledge of pharmaceuticals was fast catching up. Still Cas wasn’t wrong, the nurse needed to go. Dean felt his neck burning in shame for not agreeing sooner. Cas had fallen for him, the righteous man, and he had almost let this slide in his own camp.

“Okay Cas.” Dean said softly, “you’re right. He’s out. We can’t have someone who’s willing to hold others health over their head like a fucking doggie treat. I’ll take care of it.” 

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said, storm cooling within him now that he knew he’d won. 

“Well,” Dean said, “we still have our hunting trip tonight anyway. We can take him with us and dump him in Cherry Falls on our way. There’s a few survivors out there, maybe they’ll take him in.” 

“I’ll be ready by nightfall.” Cas said turning to leave. 

“Cas,” Dean called, still burning with shame. “I’m...”

“Stop.”  
—————————————

They’d dumped the asshole nurse off and left him scrambling after the Jeep, cursing them. They where more then 350 miles from the camp at that point so there was no way he’d make it back there alone. Plus the guards had been told not to let him back in, the people under Dean where safe, from that one threat at least. With that errand done they swung west and headed towards their destination.

Dean had been planning this one for awhile. They where going to Elk Ridge, Utah. Last information they’d received said the colt had been there, it probably wasn’t anymore but it was a step. Demons controlled the area and no humans where living within 20 miles, no sane ones at least. 

They stopped outside the hot zone in a run down motel to rest and scout the area. The room they chose was the only one who’s door still stood and windows hadn’t been shattered. They walked in and slung their gear on the dusty table situated in the middle of the room and both flopped sideways on the mice chewed king bed. 

“Shoulda let me drive.” Cas slurred. 

“I didn’t want to die.” Dean said, “you took half a bottle of oxy before we left remember?” 

“It’s nothing.” Cas said around a yawn. “Like Tylenol at this point.” 

They laid in their shared bed for a moment as the sun set. They where both so tired the thought of a scouting mission tonight was dreadful. 

“Sleep?” Dean asked.

“Probably should.” Cas answered, “we’d be caught in seconds if we went out like this. I did bring some meth though, we could take it if you wanna go out.”

“Yeah,” Dean drawled, “no. And you don’t take it either. Mellow Cas I can handle, tweeker Cas isn’t so fun.” 

“Coke Cas is fun.” Cas said indigently.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, “and oxy Cas, drunk Cas, H Cas, tranq Cas... they’re all a hoot. Tweeker Cas is a douche though. No meth.” 

“Fine.” Cas moaned. “Sleep then.” 

The temp had dropped significantly once the sun went down and they found themselves huddled together soon after. They’d spent enough nights trying to keep each other warm in a shared bed that this wasn’t even something they thought twice about anymore. They kicked out of their boots, striped down to one layer, covered themselves in mountains of blankets and curled around each other without thought. 

The first time they’d done this may have been awkward, if Dean hadn’t thought Cas was about to die of hyperthermia. The fallen angel hadn’t realized how badly the cold would affect him and had stayed out too long without thinking. By the time Dean had found him in his lookout spot his lips where blue and his skin was pale as the moon. Dean hulled him back inside and stripped him down, Cas weak protest cut off when Dean barked at him harshly. He debated trying to get him into a warm shower, but since the water heater was iffy at best he decided to just use his own body heat. By morning they’d been curled up together like puppies and a routine was established. 

The warmth was always nice. Heat and shared body temp where nothing to sneeze at in a world where heaters where a luxury beyond most imagining. Being able to hold each other, sleep in each other’s arms, wake up feeling the others body pressed against theirs, their heads resting on the others chest, was better. Their bond wasn’t physical, it was spiritual in every sense, but having this was also nice. 

“Dean?” Cas asked after awhile, head resting on the hunters shoulder comfortably. 

“Yeah?” 

“When we kill the devil, then what?” 

“Whadda ya mean Cas?” Dean said around a yawn. 

“Say we finally accomplish your task, we ice the devil and now he’s dead. Then what? What do we do?” 

Deans mind became blank at the thought. He’d never considered what he’d do after he killed the devil. If he was honest he didn’t believe for a second he’d survive it. Somehow or other he’d wind up dead during that hunt and he knew it in his bones. There would never be an after for Dean Winchester. 

“Haven’t a clue, buddy.” Dean joked, “open a real estate business? Get my doctorate? Become president? There’s no limit.” 

“Dean.” Cas reprimanded him, “what are we going to do once we’re done?” 

Oh, we. Another faucet Dean hadn’t thought of. What would Cas do once Dean was dead? Hopefully move on, help the survivors, be the savior and warrior he was always capable of being. But would Cas die too? Probably, Dean realized. Cas would never let him go alone, he’d demand to come too, and Dean would be too weak to tell him no. His weakness would lead to Cas’ death eventually, somewhere deep inside he’d always known that too. 

Instead of answering, Dean pulled Cas closer and held him tighter. Cas took that for an answer and nodded calmly. They’d go out together. 

“I’m...”

“Stop.”  
—————————————-


End file.
